When people hear I was Deputy CEO of a billion-dollar family business, they often assume the role was handed to me.
The truth? I earned every inch of it — by working in operations, managing real risk, leading through crisis, and making decisions that didn't always please everyone.
What I learned in the process wasn't just about business. It was about power — and the real cost of holding it inside a family system.
Family Business Is a Different Game
At ACICO, I didn't get a shortcut. I got responsibility — with the extra challenge of navigating:
- Family politics
- Emotional expectations
- Unwritten rules
In most family businesses, you're not just managing a company. You're managing legacy, ego, and generational power dynamics.
And the line between personal and professional? Almost invisible.
Power Isn't What I Thought It Was
I used to believe power meant:
- Being the loudest in the room
- Getting the final say
- Being liked and respected
But here's what I learned the hard way: Real power is being clear — even when it's inconvenient.
I had to make decisions that caused friction. I had to lead teams even when certain family members disagreed. And I had to hold the line — not because I wanted control, but because the business needed direction.
And yes, there was a cost.
The Cost of Leading Clearly in a Family System
When my father passed away, I wasn't included in the estate.
Not because I hadn't earned it. Not because I wasn't present. But because I wasn't… compliant.
I had spoken up. I had pushed for better systems. I had said no.
And in some systems, especially traditional ones, clarity is a threat.
But I don't regret a single decision. Because it gave me something legacy never could: A leadership identity rooted in truth, not approval.
Why This Matters for Founders and 2nd-Gen CEOs
In my consulting work, I often support:
- Founders who built something powerful but don't know how to let go
- Next-gen leaders trying to step up without breaking ties
- Family members torn between truth and loyalty
Here's what I tell them:
- You don't need to earn your worth through silence
- Legacy is only meaningful if it evolves
- Leadership without clarity becomes emotional chaos
Power That's Quietly Respected — Not Loudly Performed
Real power isn't dominance. It's the ability to lead with alignment, even when others aren't ready for it.
And in family-run companies, the ones who succeed over generations are the ones who:
- Redefine roles
- Clarify values
- Set boundaries that honor both love and leadership
You don't have to choose between legacy and clarity. But you do have to lead with courage.
Final Thought
Running a family business is one of the hardest leadership roles out there. Because the consequences aren't just financial. They're personal.
But if you're willing to lead with integrity — not obedience — you'll build something that outlasts the tension.
Clarity might not make you the favorite. But it will make you the leader your business actually needs.